Name 5 characters you would not want to trade lives with.
God, where do I start?
1. Johanna, Sweeney Todd
. Groomed for molestation by her father-figure, forced into a mental asylum (one of my personal nightmares) with a serial killer biological father and a mad prostitute bio mum, in danger of her life from an insane murderer and finally getting to run away with a guy she's just met and who has no real idea of just what kind of hell she's been through.
(I really should write that post-musical fic where Johanna starts stabbing people right and left with her needlework scissors.)
2. Basil Hallward, The Picture of Dorian Gray
. Or anyone Dorian screws over, really, Sibyl Vane or Adrian Singleton or Alan Campbell. At least Sibyl Vane and Alan Campbell get to kill themselves, though. Basil gets to be hopelessly in love with Dorian for years and to be murdered by him at the moment he realises exactly what Dorian is (and what Dorian has done to his awesome painting).
3. John Hilliard, Strange Meeting
. He goes through life so painfully repressed it's hard to bear (for the reader, anyway). When he finally does find someone he can open up to, first he quarrels with them and then they die. (That's not even a spoiler: it's blatantly obvious from the moment Barton walks onto the page that someone as cheerful and good-natured as he is in a WWI novel is doomed to be first demoralised and then killed brutally.)
4. Buffy. Just...Buffy.
5. Anyone from Watchmen
. Especially Rorschach. The others all have compensations for their miserable existences (philosophy, vast riches, love) but Rorschach, no. I think that's why I find him even more disturbing than the Comedian; at least the Comedian gets some enjoyment out of life, however loathesome.
Oh, I should post my Porn Battle entries:Keys to the Kingdom
, Johanna/Anthony]'Tis Pity She's a Whore
, Judge Turpin/Lucy Barker]Right is Might
, Raffles/Bunny]Entertaining Angels Unawares
[The Picture of Dorian Gray
, Dorian/Basil]Transatlantic Relations
, Alex/Mutt]Adventures in Academia
, Alex/Mutt]Lost in Translation
, Alex/Mutt]Thou Shalt Not
, Marian/Guy]Five Minutes in Six Hours
, Lilly/Scotty]Lesbian Massage Thingummybob
, Jane/Sally/Susan]pan metron ariston